


Wind and Memory

by The_Plaid_Slytherin



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Brothers, Gen, Minor Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell, Minor Renly Baratheon/Original Male Character(s), Pre-Canon, Remix, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-12-25 22:56:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12046047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Plaid_Slytherin/pseuds/The_Plaid_Slytherin
Summary: Renly tries his best to reach out to Stannis, however difficult he may be in return.





	Wind and Memory

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prodigy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prodigy/gifts).
  * Inspired by [the storms are on the ocean](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3850972) by [prodigy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prodigy/pseuds/prodigy). 



Renly's first memory was clear as still water in his mind. He was as certain of it as he was of his own name. It was on one of Robert's rare visits home, and the winds were up on Shipbreaker Bay. They were always up, of course, and Robert's grip was tight on Renly's ankles as he climbed the stairs to the battlements. He remembered his fingers as small as they were, clinging to Robert's long black hair. 

"See, Renly?" He felt Robert's deep voice as much as heard it. "This is ours, all of it. It is a legacy the three of us share." Renly squirmed, listening to Robert talk about how he would share the bounty of the stormlands with both his younger brothers. He didn't care about that; it was all such a long way off. He wanted to know if Robert would play with him that afternoon.

"Of course." Robert lifted Renly down from his shoulders and pressed him close against his broad chest. "You are my baby brother and I will always have time for you."

It was a nice memory, though now that he was grown, Renly knew that at sixteen, Robert must have had a poor idea of how much time he would actually have. 

**

"Why can't I come?" Renly did not like the babyish quaver in his voice—warriors did not whine—but he couldn't help it.

"Because." Robert's gauntlet sat heavy on his shoulder. "Stannis will need your help. I charge the two of you with holding the castle. You know how Stannis gets. He'll need you to inspire him."

Renly didn't know exactly what that meant, but it sounded very important.

"You're leaving now?" Stannis asked. He was only now coming into the courtyard, and Renly thought he looked nowhere near as gallant as Robert in his dull brown clothes. His arms were crossed disagreeably over his chest. 

"Yes, Stannis, I am." Robert ruffled Renly's hair one last time and straightened up. "Good luck. Gods be good, I'll put a stop to this madness and make men see sense about what is sitting on the Iron Throne."

Stannis' lips were pressed into a thin line. "And we may be the only great house willing to stand up to the king."

"Stark and Arryn will stand by me, and the marriage alliance between Stark and Tully yet stands, so we will have Lord Hoster's men as well." Robert stood up straight and tall in his armor, and not for the first time, Renly longed to be older. Why had he been born so much later than Robert? If he were even a little older, he might ride at his side as his squire. What justice was there in being only six?

Stannis didn't sound convinced by Robert's argument. "Aye, and those lands are far away. We are hemmed in by Dornish and Reachmen and you have not thought to wed any of their daughters." 

Robert's face clouded. "I am going to claim my bride, Stannis. I should be able to do that before Mace Tyrell manages to get up off his arse."

"We shall see." Stannis exhaled a weary sigh. "Go well, Robert. I will endeavor to hold the castle until you return."

"I wouldn't expect any less of you." Robert broke Stannis' gaze and looked one last time to Renly. "Be brave for Stannis, won't you? I'm counting on you." 

"I will!" Renly stepped back as Robert mounted up and gave the signal for his men to ride out. When the gates were closed, Renly raced up the stairs to the battlements. Scores of men were gathered outside the castle walls and it seemed to take ages before they were all on their way. Renly watched until he could no longer see Robert riding away on the road. Soon there was no sound but the gold and black banners above his head cracking in the wind and the roar of the waves on Shipbreaker Bay far below. 

Renly surveyed the castle below him. Activity carried on in the yard as though nothing had happened, and there were no signs of enemies on the road or in the wood. He knew he would need to keep watch in case of attack—someone had to. 

He rested his chin on the rough stone. Stannis was a poor substitute for Robert, with his unwillingness to play with Renly and the boring stories he told which always had some kind of lesson. Renly hated when he accidentally learned something.

There was Stannis now, coming out of the storehouse, a small ledger tucked under his arm. Leave it to Stannis to go right to something tiresome when Robert was off rescuing Lady Lyanna. 

Renly hurried down the stairs once more. Stannis was entering the armory when Renly reached the yard, which had to be exciting. He followed him inside.

He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the dark. Dust motes caught in the shaft of light from the high windows and Stannis held his ledger close to his face as his quill scratched over the page. 

"What are you doing?"

"Assessing our readiness for siege." Stannis ran a hand through his short hair. 

"Are we going to end up under siege?"

"It is highly likely unless the Warrior exists and favors Robert." 

"But we'll pray to the Warrior, won't we?"

Stannis only grunted in response. "As will Prince Rhaegar." 

"But Robert is a better fighter." 

Stannis sighed. "Be that as it may, he won't be able to achieve a decisive victory inside of a week. While we wait for that to happen, we must defend ourselves. Do you understand?" 

Renly nodded. "We must do our duty to Robert."

"Aye." Stannis looked again at his ledger. "It is winter," he said slowly. "If we had a fresh harvest, I would feel more secure. We cannot even take in the winter crops." 

"But we have enough to last until Robert wins, don't we?"

"If we are careful." Stannis braced his back. "Perhaps it will not come to that. I will have to consult with Ser Gawen and Maester Cressen, too, of course. It is not for you to worry about."

He left and Renly remained a moment in the armory. He would pray to the Warrior, even if Stannis wouldn't. This seemed as good a place as any to do it; he didn't want to go into the sept and have the septon stop him for a lesson.

He closed his eyes. In his mind, the Warrior looked like Robert, not like his stern statue who more closely resembled Stannis. 

_Let Robert win_ , he prayed. _Before any of what Stannis says happens._

He opened his eyes to a surge of confidence. There was no way Robert wouldn't beat that old prince with his warhammer and then everybody would see how mad the Targaryens were. 

Stannis was silly. What did he know? 

Renly left the armory, his feet carrying him in the direction of the kitchens and fresh lemon cakes.

**

"You promised." Renly was careful to pitch his accusation just above a true whine, enough to make Robert feel properly guilty without sounding too babyish. He was ten, after all, and he was past whining, but really, Robert _had_ promised. "You said you would take me hunting once Lord Tywin's party returned to the Rock."

"And I will." Robert rolled onto his back and clapped his hand over his eyes. "Maiden's tits, Renly, they just left."

"Two days ago! And Brann says there's a boar in the Kingswood twice the size of—"

"And it will be there when my headache's gone. Draw the drapes when you leave, Renly, will you? There's a lad."

Renly stalked across Robert's bedroom to the long bank of windows and pulled the drapes shut. Robert only had a headache because he'd spent the forty-eight hours since the Lannisters' departure drinking and whoring. 

"You'll understand when you have a goodfather," Robert told him. "You'll need to relax after he visits."

Renly thought about asking if going hunting wasn't relaxing, as that was usually the reason Robert gave for why he was always going off into the Kingswood, but he decided it would be wiser to remain silent. He didn't want to seem _too_ whiny. It was a tone to be used sparingly to get what he wanted.

He left Maegor's Holdfast, not feeling like going to the nursery to play with Joff. If Cersei was there, she wouldn't let him. Joff had bitten him last week, and she had decided it was because Renly had overstimulated him. 

"And what are you up to?" 

Stannis was coming toward him. 

_How old he looks_ , Renly thought. He could hardly believe Stannis was only three-and-twenty and that he was younger than Robert. His hairline was already starting to recede and he didn't even bother to hide it. Renly hoped he took after Robert when he himself was grown. 

"Walking," he said, flipping his hair off his shoulder. 

"Have you a destination in mind?"

"I'm taking the air. Is that not my right?"

"Certainly. I only thought you might have gone hunting with the king."

Others take Stannis for knowing everything. "He was indisposed," Renly said, as though he didn't care one whit. 

"By his own hand, I would wager." Stannis fell into step beside him, slowing his strides to match Renly's. One day he hoped to be taller than Stannis. 

Renly grunted noncommittally. He couldn't deny it, nor could he deny his annoyance, but it seemed like a betrayal to complain to Stannis about Robert. Stannis' resentment was famous. 

"We could do something," Stannis offered. "You and I." 

"You don't hunt."

"No, but I could take you hawking. Or we could simply ride in the Kingswood. You have not been out since before Lord Tywin arrived, have you?"

"No," Renly said bitterly. Robert hadn't paid him any mind while his goodfather was in the capital. He hadn't acted like himself, either. Renly had missed the music and stories in the great hall when he was allowed to sit up with Robert and his friends. 

"Well, I would go if you would join me." Stannis turned toward the stables and, lacking anything better to do, Renly followed.

"You'll have him back," Stannis said after he had ordered their mounts, as well as some food to be eaten cold. "It will take a day or two of drink and women, but he will be back to his old self."

Renly knew this was probably true, but it still sort of hurt that he, Renly, wasn't enough to draw Robert out. He looked up at Stannis, studying him. They had never been close, not like Robert and Renly, though Stannis had been dependable during the siege of Storm's End. Since then, however, he hadn't much cause to think about Stannis.

Stannis swung onto his horse with a fluid grace unlike Robert. Renly tried to copy him, though he was painfully aware of the fact that his arms and legs had recently seemed as though they didn't quite belong to him. 

They said little as they rode through the city. Renly was thinking about how alone they were—Robert never went anywhere without men and servants, whereas Stannis rarely went anywhere with them. He hadn't even had Ser Davos come with them. He wondered if this was something he could ask about or if it would annoy Stannis. It was hard to figure out what questions might annoy Stannis.

The guards at the city gates exchanged nods with Stannis, but there was no other ceremony. Then, suddenly, they were outside the city and on the Kingsroad. 

"What if we kept going?" Renly said suddenly, "and went all the way to Storm's End?"

"An unwise decision. We haven't the provisions and no one would know where we are going. If we did not return from our ride this evening, it would be feared some misfortune had befallen us."

Renly knew all that; he wasn't stupid, but it was nice to imagine, even for a moment.

"Don't you ever wish you were free?" 

Stannis looked down his nose at Renly. "You are ten years old and have hardly any responsibilities at all. What can you possibly wish to be free from? You needn't even mind me or Robert. You could go back to Storm's End whenever you wanted and be your own master."

Renly couldn't quite articulate why this wasn't reassuring. It wasn't that he would miss Stannis. "Things are more interesting here. If I am to serve on Robert's small council one day, I must be at the capital. The eyes of the entire realm are fixed here."

Stannis grunted. "That may be so, but I cannot remember the last time I saw you join us in a meeting."

So what if he liked being in the capital for the tourneys, the feasts, and knowing what was fashionable at court? "When was the last time Robert had a proper meeting?"

Stannis' lips twitched, almost as if he was trying to smile. "True."

They fell into a pleasant silence as they passed through the sun-dappled forest. Renly's heart soared with the tantalizing prospect of summer. He started feeling more charitable to Stannis as well, agreeing readily when Stannis announced his intentions to stop and eat the food in his saddlebags.

"You don't like the capital, do you?" he said thoughtfully, as he bit into a cold slice of pigeon pie. 

"It is not my favorite place to be in the world, but duty requires it."

Renly chewed thoughtfully, savoring the spices. "But you don't _like_ it, do you?"

"It has precious little to do with what I like." Stannis sipped from his waterskin. "You'll understand when you're older."

Resentment boiled in Renly's chest. "You just don't like Dragonstone." 

He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Stannis looked down at his food, but he was grinding his teeth. "You would not like it either."

"Probably not." Renly fought for the words to make the situation better somehow. He wasn't sure why he cared so much, but he didn't like the idea that he'd hurt Stannis. "I know it isn't fair, you know. He should've given you Storm's End."

"Thank you." Stannis' words were gruff, but he seemed almost happy about it. If Stannis was ever happy. "The one thing I will say about it is that you appreciate it."

Renly smiled. He liked Storm's End and wouldn't give it up for the world, and he knew it was all because of Stannis. Not that Robert didn't love the place, too, but it was Stannis who had made sure Renly knew every corner and every story when he was given the lordship. 

"Will you tell me again about Lyonel Baratheon?"

Stannis looked surprised. "Surely you know that story." 

"I do. But I want to hear you tell it."

For a moment, he thought Stannis might declare the impulse ridiculous and refuse, but this time, he did actually smile. "While he was not our direct ancestor, Lord Lyonel was directly responsible for our line inheriting Storm's End." Renly settled back against his saddlebags, his full belly making his eyelids grow heavy as Stannis' voice telling the familiar tale washed over him. 

Perhaps Stannis was not so bad in small doses. And maybe when he had grown tired of Stannis, Robert would be interested in him again.

**

This was not the nameday gift Renly had been anticipating. He glanced nervously around the common room of the tavern, which clearly wasn't a tavern at all. He looked down at his cup of ale. Maybe he could drink himself sick. He didn't want to be sick on his nameday, but he didn't want to be in a place like this on his nameday, either. 

He glanced over at Robert, but Robert had evidently been here before and the girls all recognized him. Renly supposed being king made you popular. Maybe Robert would be distracted and he could sneak out.

He took a look for the exits. He didn't mind passing through the city alone. He might like to explore a bit on his own; after all, he'd never been unattended in the city. Fourteen was surely old enough to ride alone without an escort. He took a swig of ale and thought about Lord Arryn's squire, with whom Renly had been exchanging kisses when they could manage it. He would have much rather spent his nameday with Derryk than waiting for Robert to be finished with his whores.

He looked up again to see if Robert was gone.

And saw Stannis striding toward him through the crowded room.

" _What_ ," he snapped, so hard Renly thought he might break some teeth, "are you doing here?"

"Robert—" he began.

Stannis sighed. "Of course." He ran a hand through what he had left of his hair. "Do you want to leave?" he asked at last.

Now that he was actually asking, Renly's hackles were raised. "What if I want to stay?"

"Do you?" Stannis' answer was so immediate and unhesitating that Renly was taken aback. "Well, then, it seems I was mistaken. I did not expect it of you."

Renly glanced over at Robert. He hadn't noticed Stannis. "All right," he said, taking on last, long drag of ale. "I'm bored anyway."

Robert's companions moved out of Stannis' way without comment and Renly followed in his wake. He didn't say anything, still worried about what Robert might think. 

"You do know you needn't follow in his footsteps just because he is the king," Stannis said as he mounted his horse. "I have no expectations of you modeling yourself on me, but perhaps you might aim for the middle ground."

"The middle ground?" Renly accepted the reins of his mare and climbed into the saddle. 

"Not as depraved as Robert."

"Or as tight-laced as you?"

Stannis didn't respond to this, nor did he argue it. "I trust this was Robert's idea of an appropriate experience for a young man having achieved fourteen years."

"I guess."

"And how do you feel about it?" Stannis' gaze was piercing in the torchlight as they left the Street of Silk. 

Renly paused. Somehow, here in the dark when they were alone, riding, it felt easier to tell Stannis the truth. After all, he didn't have to look at him or feel as though Stannis were looking back at him. "I didn't want to. I'd rather not, you know, pay someone for it. I want it to be with someone I actually like." Derryk's face came to mind and Renly felt his neck grow hot. "Does that make sense?"

"It makes perfect sense," Stannis said gruffly. "In fact, that makes you wiser than countless supposedly wise men." 

"Have you ever…?" 

"Robert once put me in a similar position to the one he put you in tonight. I declined, as well."

Renly looked at Stannis, feeling a strange sort of kinship with him. "I didn't like anything about it," he confessed. "How do you even know _they_ want to be there?"

Stannis nodded. "Exactly." He paused. "And if you need to save face with Robert, he would probably believe a story about my dragging you out by your ear."

Renly laughed. So Stannis _was_ capable of making jokes. If he was in a good mood, it would certainly make the ride back to the Red Keep more tolerable.

**

Renly was the first person at the council table. He stifled a yawn. If he'd known no one else would be here, he probably wouldn't have gotten up _quite_ so early. Or stayed up so late last night. But he hadn't been alone last night, so going to bed early was out of the question.

He looked down at the parchment in front of him. He'd brought it in anticipation of taking notes, but maybe that was silly. He tried to remember the times he had sat in on council meetings when he was younger. Stannis had dragged him to one when he was around ten, and then again a few years later when he had first put forth the measure to close brothels. 

Stannis was the sort of person who took notes.

Renly laid his quill down just as the door opened to admit the man himself. 

Stannis stopped, looking surprised. "I did not expect to see you here."

This statement could not have been more irritating. It was as if Stannis thought Renly the sort of person who slept until noon. (He had been that sort of person before he'd been elevated to the small council, but now he had actual, tangible responsibility, not the vague responsibility of Storm's End sitting leagues away and out of mind.) 

"I am a member of this council. Why should I not be prompt for the meeting?"

"Why not indeed?" Stannis settled himself into his chair. "I'm proud of you for showing such initiative."

Renly smiled, though he wasn't actually sure he wanted Stannis to be proud of him. Stannis being proud of you meant that you were doing something boring.

This morning, in bed, Mors hadn't been interested at all about hearing about Renly's plan as master of laws. 

"Stay with me, my lord, and talk of something else," he'd said, trying to urge Renly back to bed. He'd been tempted, but he was also determined to be useful to Robert. 

That was why he was here, having arrived even earlier than Stannis. 

He sighed. "So," he said. "What _do_ we do?" 

Stannis smiled grimly. "We govern when Robert does not."

Renly tapped his quill on his blank parchment. 

"You will be an asset to us," Stannis said. "Lord Arryn and I have carried much of the work over the years and we could always use more help."

This sounded like work. It sounded like a lot of work. But Stannis looked so bloody… earnest. Renly loathed it, this impulse he had to humor Stannis when Stannis would never change. It would not last; he was mature enough at eighteen to know that now. Stannis was hoping that by his influence he would somehow change Renly, mold him in his image. That would certainly never work, and Stannis was a fool for thinking so.

But, Renly still wondered if it was possible _he_ could change Stannis.

At any rate, he could always change his mind later without Stannis being disappointed. Giving up on projects was something Stannis expected of him at this point. No reason to surprise him now.

**

"Renly, what are you doing? We have to go." Loras stood in the bedroom doorway in that irritating way he had when he was rushing Renly. 

"Let me finish." Renly was writing as quickly as he could. Stannis would surely disapprove of his hand, but time was of the essence. Besides, it was to his benefit. If the Lannisters were not to be trusted…

Renly paused, scanning over his missive. He'd informed Stannis of Robert's death, which was only right as Stannis' only remaining brother. He'd also informed him of the rumors swirling round the capital of Joffrey's parentage.

 _And if those rumors are true, brother, then that would mean_ …  
_  
_ He stopped writing. 

"Renly!" Loras crossed over to his desk. "I am deadly serious. The sooner we leave, the farther from the city we can be and nearer to friendly territory. There is still every possibility that our plan to flee may be discovered, and it will surely be known when we are found to have left. And then if we are caught—"

"Then we will be share the fate the honorable Ned Stark has just consigned himself to, yes." Renly absently reached out to take Loras' hand in hopes of quieting him. "I am only sorry I could not convince him to side with me. Robert would have wanted that."

"No doubt." Loras pulled his hand away. It seemed that even he would not be dismissed so easily. "Renly, do forgive me if I say Robert's opinion matters little right now."

"No, you are right. Only my other brother matters now."

"And why must _he_?" Loras cupped Renly's chin, drawing his gaze up and away from the parchment. "You would make a fine king. The people love you. You would be a legend. Songs would be written of you."

"And kingship is more than songs."

"And it still would suit you. Do you believe Stannis would make men love him? Follow him?"

"No, but they will follow me to his side. Your father's army—"

"—Would be far greater than any Stannis could get on his own." Loras' eyes were shining with possibilities. It was almost enough to make Renly give in.

"You speak the truth, but it is not my claim to make. Blood and honor, Loras." He bent his head over the parchment. 

… _that you are Lord of the Seven Kingdoms if Robert left no trueborn heir. I make for Highgarden so that when you march on King's Landing to claim your throne, you will do it with the full strength of the Reach and the Stormlands. Add that to your crabs and onions and we will avenge our brother._

 __He stopped. Surely that was enough to get the point across. Stannis would probably receive it with all the gratitude that was customary of him, but that was to be expected at this point. Stannis being king would not cease to make him difficult to live with.

"You're just going to give it to him?" Loras was reading over his shoulder. 

"That is what our laws and customs say."

Loras brushed his hair back from his forehead and kissed him. "And what mind have you ever paid to laws and customs?"

Possibility—mad possibility perhaps—was beginning to brew in his mind. Could Loras be right? Renly did know in his heart that he would make a better king than either of his brothers, but actually endeavoring to claim the throne in Stannis' place would be all but unprecedented.

But, he reflected, it would make a fine song. 

"Come," he said, grasping Loras' hand in his right. With his left, he shoved the letter into his tunic. He would send it at the first safe harbor he was met with. That would give him time to decide one way or the other. 

**

Even at the top of the tower, Stannis could feel the salt spray on his face. He kept his hands tightly wrapped around Renly's ankles. He had begged and begged a thousand times an hour to be brought up here and if Stannis had relented, it was to make the whining stop. 

"See, Renly? This is ours, all of it. It is a legacy the three of us share."

"But Robert's the lord." Renly's chubby fists tugged at his hair. 

"And he will give us our own holdings if he honors his promise to Father." 

"Father's gone." Renly said this as a dull statement of fact, and Stannis once more felt the pang of loss, compounded perhaps by the fact that Renly would never know the magnitude of it.

"He is, aye, but you have me. And Robert," he added, for Robert was the eldest and the honor was his however little he deserved it.

"Robert's busy." Stannis did not need to see the tremble of the lower lip.

"As well he may be." Stannis lifted Renly down off his shoulders and held him close. For once, Renly did not squirm. "But I am a second son with no such office and you are my younger brother. I will always have time for you."


End file.
